When it rains...

It definitely seems to be wet season here in PNG and I've been surrounded by rain. Even on our retreat in "sunny" Madang we were covered in showers, but when the rain threatened to ruin our fun, we just slapped on our swim-suits anyways and dove into the pool. This break seems to have a lot of it too but Ukarumpa isn't the only place that has been covered in clouds. We all go through times when we face the "storms of life" and though I'm not going through a really hard time right now, I feel the clouds are never far from my soul- threatening to rain on my parade at any given moment. I could try to wait for the clouds to roll back, but the truth of the matter is that they won't right away and I'd just waist a lot of my precious time. So I've had to literally stop and make the conscious decision several times the last couple weeks of what I'm going to do when the storm clouds come. Am I going to let it beat me down? or will I take it in stride? Will I choose my self-pity over the potential fun? Will I still love you right now? or will I hold your hurtful actions against you?

The clouds might not blow over, but I can decide if I'll dance or pout...and who likes to pout? So let us get our best dance moves on and not let the rainy days get the best of us.


So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain
~Superchick, "Stand in the Rain"

Senior Retreat Part I : The Unexpected

Having just recently written a post about expectations and wanting things to be "spontaneous" I was a little nervous for my Senior Retreat. This is the trip I've been looking forward to for a looong time. This is what I worked for so diligently as class rep 8th & 9th grade. This is why we slaved away in the kitchen for hours on sore feet. This is what we saw every class do each year, knowing our turn was getting closer each time. So how could I not have expectations?

As I took a minute to talk to God and center myself I asked "Please don't let my expectations get in the way of fun...Be in it all" and I silently asked Him for the unexpected...
That morning as we loaded up cars Scott had asked God, "Help us remember you this trip."
Well both prayers were answered...in an ironic, unexpected way.

It had been a good first day. The trip went quickly (despite/because of our 5 stops!) The car was fun and lively and the music never stopped. Excitement was in the air. :) Our rooms were nice and we had quickly got settled in before throwing on our suits and running to the refreshing pool (despite the drizzle :/)
We'd been all girly and got dressed up, then our class went out to eat. Some yummy pizza, fun company and pretty scenery.

After dinner we once again piled back into our 2 vans and headed "home", having another meaningless conversation...when all of a sudden we heard thuds and shattering. At first it was hard to tell what happened. But then we realized our car had been stoned, and a window was missing. No one in our car got hurt but we were all shaken and that 20 min ride home on the dark roads seemed like hours. The car in front of got hit too, that's all we knew until we walked into the lobby to see a girl in our class' face completely covered in blood and glass. She had gotten hit by the rock...It felt like it couldn't be real, but God was with us. It was so cool to see how our class pulled together to support one another. Once they moved her to her room she was surrounded by people praying and reciting scripture. The boys played worship music on their guitar and ended up making her giggle- which we all band cuz it hurt her cheek. In the end, we got her to a doctor that was just down the road and everything was ok. The 2 broken windows were annoying as it rained ofter so we always got in a musty wet van, but we just glad we were all ok. There are sooo many areas that we could see God's hand of protection in it all that I can't list them all. But He was there. It was unexpected. And we were ALL definitely thinking about Him (thanks Scott).
(*know that we were not targeted in anyway. Some people were upset due to a political convention, which many took as a political campaign (which is illegal in this country) so they were upset. We were 2 of the 30-40 reported vehicles that were hit and the man responsible for the convention is willing to help pay for the damage)
Once we realize she was ok, things progressively got more and more fun.

Irony ;)

Things remained unexpected...like when more people decided to stay at Rempi so we had to fit 21 people into our 16 seater van...it was ok until our spare tire rack fell off.
Or when we were heading out to dinner and our tires locked up so the boys had to jump out in the rain and take the tire off and put it back on...then we had a visit from a hilarious drunk man.
Or when we were trucking through a village to get to the tree to jump out of at Rempi and a native decides to throw rocks at the world's biggest pig - which decides to charge in OUR direction.
Or when Adam wore rugby shorts. ('nough said)
Or when Kaela and I were swimming one morning and decided to get off at this dock...until we realized there was a poisonous sea snake right by her. I'll never forget that image of her dangling on to the dock like a poor sloth, scared out of her brains not able to get up. IT was quite humorous. (haha sorry Kaela...)
Or when we (3 girls) were hiking through the bush of Pig Island looking for the boys and heard weird noises coming from a bush. After freezing, saying "Hello?!?" and hearing scary grunting coming from a shaking bush we screamed and turned around sprinting back to the beach yelling "CHARLLIEEE!!!" (our sponsor) until we turned around to see...Scott walking nonchalantly out of the bush. ARGG. :P
Maybe the time when we fit 28 or us on a 16 seater boat- scarrry...

This was when only 1/2 of us were in it...

OR when Kelsey said (as we all stood under a field of coconut trees) "We better watch out for the coconuts- they might fall on our heads" and we all just give her a dismissive glance until...5 seconds later "BOOOM" a coconut plummeted to the ground 20 feet from us! We all screamed and RAN to open coverage.
I have to say that I bravely went and retrieved the coconut, which we ate the next morning :)
*haha I just realized we I made it sound like we had a multi-life-threatening trip, but we really didn't. It was fun and other then the first night we all remained safe & healthy :)
How about when we found a real toilet on the way down- that flushed and everything! woaaaa...

Magic toilet...

OR when the Marine that was staying at Jais shouted us all free drinks one night :)

Super excited...

And maybe the time when the boys bombed our room with rice...Do you know how painful that is to walk on?
OR Kaela's "You know you're in PNG when you wave at the waiter to get another drink, and he looks at you, smiles and waves back before continuing on his way..." haha

...What can I say- we do live in "The Land of the Unexpected"

Go Warriors!

Today I took my last kick in the very last soccer game of my last tournament as a UIS Warrior...and I was able to walk off the field with my head held high. I'm not the fastest, or have the best ball skills- I don't have the strongest clears and often times I mess up, I can't juggle to save my life and sometimes my over-competitive spirit gets the best of me...but soccer has sent me on a journey, that has taught me so much and opened so many doors for me. It's part of who I am. It's been a part of shaping who I am and I just love the sport.
I can't even remember why I tried out for soccer for the first time in 7th grade. Maybe it was just my over-achiever attitude of wanting to try out every new thing, but I know I thoroughly enjoyed the season. We had two senior boys as our B team coaches and they always kept us laughing. Once Nick even got his head stuck in the net. The fun season made me love the atmosphere of just having a good time while coming together to play sports with people.
8th grade I came at it again, and that's when I got addicted. I played 3 of the 4 sports that year, but nothing compared to soccer.

My awkward middle school stage ;)

9th grade was an awesome season. We played tons of games and it was the first time I was actually part of the A team and I got established as a defender. I have so many great memories from that season, and that's when I knew soccer was a special part of me.

10th grade was unique because I was on furlough, but God opened some doors so I could practice with the team at my public school. It was so different from soccer here and such an enriching and growing experience.
11th grade I was back on familiar ground and playing harder then ever, building a solid foundation and falling in love with defense.

One of the best parts of playing here in PNG is all the muddy practices!! Oh memories...

And finally, senior year, I pushed myself to be the best I could be, never letting myself settle for less than I could be. My goal was to just developed my skills all around and I feel like for the most part I did, and I can be proud of how I played. It was a special season and God allowed it to be a extra long season with the way the tournaments worked out.

We're so tough ;)

Soccer has shaped me in the sense that it has taught me so much about myself- who I am, what I value, how I play. I've learned to work as a team and rely on each part. To be an encourager and pick myself after defeat. I've learned that I'm hard on myself, but I need to not let it get to me. I've learned how to love others, how to never give up and push to the end. How to rely on God and give Him the praise for the victories and the loses. That being the slowest doesn't necessarily define you. Excuses don't fix anything. And giving up won't get you anywhere. You can learn so much about people and yourself through sports.

It's opened so many doors for me as well. As a middle schooler- to have friendships with upper class-man (who now have babies!!!) and as a upper class-man to have friendships with the younger girls. To step outside your normal friend bubble and get to know new girls. At Big Walnut it gave me a group of friends who knew me a bit better, and in a sea of 1000 faces I was apart of something. I love that feeling of just being part of something. Being a member of that team.
One of my closest friendships was with my sweeper, Hannah Stegeman. I love that girl to death because of our times out on the field. We just clicked from the first couple practices we had together last year. I know she's got my back, and I hers. We understand each-other and our bond will go forever. This season she sat out for a couple weeks from a sprained ankle. I can't tell you how much my heart dropped the moment I saw her first hurt and I praise the Lord she was able to join us again this week for our last games.

Hannah, Abby & I in 11th grade

There is nothing like that moment when you're in a huddle of a specially bonded group of girls committing your game into your Lord and Saviors hands, with all your various shades, shapes and sizes of hands joined in the middle, and then from the depths of your gut you yell "WARRIORS!"
As the final whistle blew, I stepped of the field and thanked God for the many seasons, tournaments and games I've gotten to play. It's been a blessing and a privilege and I've learned so much.

Soccer is still very much a part of me and I'll take all those memories and things I've learned with me as I go into my future. And don't worry, today wasn't the last day strap on those shin guards and tie up those cleats! ;)

the search...

[put that anticipated story on hold while I attempt to get the pictures]

Right now I'm going through a series with my Bible Study called "The Search for Intimacy" by Lifekeys International, with Dr. Allan Meyer. It's a great study about how to "empower people to live successfully in a highly sexulized world." (I strongly suggest you watch it if you get the chance. I great Biblical view on intimacy, love, purity etc.)

Last night was a great session and I took many good things away from it, and I thought I'd share a couple with all you.

First off we talked about the value of a person. How us girls are not just a face & a figure and guys are not just a face and a physique, but we are made in God's image. And to fully appreciate the value of a person, we have to be in awe of God- because we are a slice of that. We need to look past what the world feeds to us about people and look at who they really are and know that no matter what, they deserve so much respect and worth because they are a valuable being.

Then we moved to talk about this idea of searching for intimacy and how even Adam, from day one, was searching for someone and God gave him Eve.I loved this quote,
"While Adam was sleeping, God was working." All Adam had to do in the process of making Eve is to sleep and let God do the work. He didn't have to go chase her down, try to create her or anything- he just had to be patient and let God work.
This struck a cord in my heart because so often I don't trust God with my future love life. I feel like I have to pursue guys in order for it to all work. But last night God reminded me that it's not up to me. It's ALL Him. My job right now is to prepare myself and to trust patiently for God's will in my life.

"And all he had to do was tell the difference between a woman and a hippopotamus"
Haha Dr. Allan is so hilarious. He was talking about how God, Himself, introduces us to this special person He has for us. Even in the Garden where all Adam had to do was "tell the difference between a woman and a hippopotamus" God introduced this woman to the man.
It sure does (or should) take a load off my back to not be always so aggressively pursuing someone or worrying that I missed "the one".
All I have to do is sit back, relax, work on my areas that need growth and let God do the working.

And one other quick analogy he gave that stood out to me to remind me to be patient is of a little child. You know how little children can't see past 5 minutes. You decline them a lolly-pop because it's almost dinner time yet they think it's almost the end of the world. They just have a fit!! He didn't go on to say this, but this is how I took it- we're like the little kids and God is the wiser, big picture adult. We want that relationship NOW but God says "No, just wait a minute" and we just freak out! We are such short sited and God is just thinking "If only you could wait 5 more minutes you'd understand." So as I trust, I must be patient.

So let this be an encouragement to all you discouraged singles out there. That God is the one who will figure it all out and He is working even if we don't realize it- we might just be "sleeping" like Adam and not realizing what's going on as God works. AND He will open your eyes and introduce you when it's time. So be patient and don't give up hope. :)

Take a leap...

I feel like everything is better when its spontaneous. I've ruined a whole lot of my life with expectations.I have plenty a journal entries over the past 2 years of times when I had numerous expectations, hopes, dreams...crushed, ripped out of my hands, die.
I was just talking with my friend in the car we get more joy out of spontaneous things because we don't have the time leading up to it to get a per-conceived image of what we thing the thing will be like, or get all excited- to have it turn out being not as we thought.

This week I've had the most fun I've had in a long time- and yep, you guessed it, it was all spontaneous. :)
I've had a good year, but I feel like it's not like it used to be. Somethings changed, and it seems that I hardly have a really good time anymore. Things are fun, life is good but nothing spectacular.
Maybe I've matured, maybe life's changed, maybe I have depression, who knows.
I do know that God gives me little random good times to keep me going.

Sunday I was sitting on my mom's bed plugging away at my scholarship applications when the phone rang. It was Kaela and she said that a couple people were going out to the track. I was immediately happy, because I've been wanting to go out there for weeeeks and haven't gotten the chance.

After awhile, things didn't look like they were working out, but finally people got their act together and a small group of us rode out to the track. Kelsey & Kae on the quad, Scott & Kristin on Scott's bike, and after bravely asking him, Josh agreed to take me on his bike.
Right: Kels & Kae

Us girls at the track.

At the track it was a little anti-climatic and slightly boring but still nice to get off center and relax in the beauty of PNG. Then we all agreed to ride out to "JG cliff".
Now it's a long story behind how it got that name, but basically it's named after my best friend- Kaela (who's "nick-name" is JG), so we thought it'd be cool for her to see it.
It was such a great ride out there...The little dirt road with wood bridges, the grassy valleys and rolling hills under the blue sky. I felt so free.
We quickly made it out to the cliff, and when I say cliff, I mean CLIFF. I was thinking, 9 feet possibly 10. No-sir-ee. It's like 60 feet. (that could totally be off...but it was high). And at the bottom is a beautiful flowing river.
We all took a brief hike to the base of the cliff where the river was. And that's when we decided...to take a swim. Fully dressed and everything. Jeans and all.
It was a crazy idea, but we all committed nonetheless.

Left: Our beautiful swimming hole- the pic doesn't do it justice

There is a tree you can climb and jump out of, so Josh fearlessly shimmied up it and once Kelsey jumped in and "tested the depth" he plunged into the cold water.
Soon Kaela was in, which left it my turn to follow. The water was surprisingly clean, piercingly cold, but felt so nice and the current was strong but not unbearable. Across the river was a "beach" of sand! (in the highlands! I know- gasp haha) So we went and sat out on it while we watched the boys jump from the tree. Later they joined us on the beach and built a "sand castle with a moat".
Josh helped Kelsey climb all the way to the top of the quite tall tree where she so very bravely jumped out. I was so proud of her.

It was such a nice relaxing time- off center, randomly swimming in the river. I was just so content and happy sitting there on the "beach".

On "the beach".

We finally climbed back up the bikes and tried to drip dry real quick before mounting our soggy selves back on them. The ride back was even better then the ride there as we raced home. I kept thinking "this is so MK" haha and "I feel like a senior!". Making the most of the moment. Going on random adventures. Seizing the limited opportunities I have to make the most of this country.
If I had known that we were going out to the track, or we'd be swimming at JG cliff, I don't think I'd have enjoyed it as much. I would have spoiled it by imagining just how I want it all to happen and the whole "I can't believe we're doing this" was half the fun. Sometimes you just have to be spontaneous, and jump on in. Take a leap and not look back. :)

Josh & Kelsey fearlessly climbing the tree. This is taken from the top of the cliff, looking down.

This is the beautiful view looking straight out from the cliff. :)


My next spontaneous adventure to come... :)

A stary night

Last night was the ending to a long journey. It was the closing night of the play
Sherlock Holmes and the Plumstead Marshes. It was a rather magnificent show, and I had the privilege of having a small part of it. And when I say small part, I mean 3 lines!!! woooo hooo!! No, it was fun.
Because I'm involved in soccer after school Mrs. Ferris willingly agreed to let me be an extra so I could have the best of both worlds. There was a point - probably last week when I attended 3hr rehearsals every night just to stand on stage 5min and say 3 lines, where I felt like it was not worth it.
But I made it through those boring nights and had a rather fun time. Once my extreme costume got decked out, make up and hair was added, I was forced to do a plethora of backstage jobs (like curtain, ladder holding, scene setting upping etc. ....which later I enjoyed being able to help make all the magic happen) and got to spend some time with people I usually don't get to, it was worth it.
My mom challenged me not to just "get through" this week, but it enjoy it while doing it! And I took that to heart. When I was at play- I was all there. Having fun.
Mrs. Ferris (our director) told us last night "even the small parts add something, like another dimension to the play, even if it's just color". Kaela turned to me and said "Les, you add pink!" haha My dress was extremely pink and ruffly, but I loved it!
And, of course, there was all those little bloopers, and backstage jokes and things that make it all oh so worth it ;)
Then there is the embarrasing parts where the...uhh...announcent giver at the end calls your directors "vi-lumb-tuous" when recognizing them. *blush blush*
And last but not least, the best part, which is the main reason everyone auditions - Cast PARTY!! haha
We had lots of fun, lots of laughs, LOTS of theme related food. It was a great way to end it all.
Though the sky was covered in clouds, it was a "stary night" ;)

*oh and lets not forget that pizza Mrs. Hansen brought backstage. "Happiness in a stick" said Zac. *Buuuurp* went Watson - "What?!!? tooo much piiizzzaaa. It's soooo gooooodddd. 6ttthhh sliiice!"
Or Josiah doing everything backstage in his creepy character...including holding a baby doll and protecting his pop corn with a gun.

Now for picture over load:
(I didn't intend them to be all of me, but that's how it worked out. Don't think I'm narcissistic ;) )

Backstage.

With my "Sister" (Hannah) and director. :)

My view of things.

I forgive you poor little Sophie (Emma) for stealing my pearl bracelet ;) w/ "Newsboy 1" (Reuben)

Kristin & I with our "baby bombets" (oh so cute & yummy)

Zac (aka Holmes) & I "partyin'" it up a the cast party!! :P

Love to all, and good night,
- Catherine ;)