Lift up your head

One thing I'll always miss about life here is gathering (almost) every Monday night with a group of gorgeous, Godly ladies for Bible Study. We've shared some very special, meaningful times together...especially this past year and half.
Tonight we spent time picking verses to encourage each other with in the future, we went over old letters we wrote to ourselves last year and looked through a slide show of pictures from the year. It was bitter-sweet time. A special times with these girls, but the reality that we have a month left is always a hard pill to swallow. Our leader shared this song with us. <3

Over Now by Needtobreathe
Lift your eyes girl,
I know you're broken,
Left from the same war,
That you never knew.
Your way is just to fall just like before you.
But the way isn't to long,
You're almost there.
There's a feeling that you won't make.

All you have in store.
This time is just a season,
You deserve much more.

Lift up your head,
Look out the window,
‘Cause it's almost over now,
Take back the time that your fear has stolen.
‘Cause it's almost over now.

Don't let it get you caught in that tunnel,
The end is always a few steps away,
There's a feeling of resistance,
You can't seem to fight.
This time is just a season,
You can make it right.

Your eyes are open,
Your heart clean,
But you're lookin',
To be free.

Lift up your head,
Look out the window,
‘Cause it's almost over now,
Take back the time that your fear has stolen.
‘Cause it's almost over now.

It's a great song for this time in our lives. We got to keep our heads up and not let the fear of what the future brings steal these precious moments from us.

Let's hear it for all the Mom's!

Happy Mother's Day everyone! :)
My family always has a double whammy because my mom's birthday is always the same week, if not day, as mothers day too. So this week was the week of mom. I tried to make sure that it was a special one, as it'd be the last one I'd have with her in a while.

I love my mom and she means the world to me. I respect her and have loved getting closer to her lately. She's helped shaped me into the woman I am and when I grow up, I want to be just like her. :D One of the hardest parts about leaving PNG this summer, is leaving my mom (and dad). It's going to be a long 14 months not having them to hug. :((*mom, the tissues are still above the filter...:P)
My heart breaks a little when I see people with broken relationships with their mothers, or don't take the time to care about them. God gave us mothers for a reason, right? They can invest in us so much. Thank you God for my mommy!

So here are some of the things my dad and I did this week to help her know she's loved:
Her present from me (I went for the more hand made crafts this year, because I figured she was sick of always getting M&M's...haha)

My mom and I love fireflies because in the summers on furlough I would go and crawl into her bed and we would stay up late talking, watching all the fireflies that sneaked through her window. The words are lyrics to a song by Sanctus Real we always sing when we stay up late.

We had a nice dinner for her on her birthday but we also had an awesome surprise 50's party for her. Her girl friends got her all dressed up and I got the decorations ready. It was lots of fun! :) :

For mother's day we ended up going to Kainantu for lunch! (and I was able to get a bit of shopping in too. win-win! :D) The hotel was so sweet and even gave my mom and I (because I'll "someday be a mother" said the lady) a discount on our steaks, and entered us into a drawing for a prize! (this really is the land of the unexpected...) It was a nice lunch out.

And lastly, for her mothers day present I made this thing I found on Pintrest. I told her, "Our hearts will always be woven together, no matter where we are."

this is your pacifier

I have to admit, as I see that people keep looking at my blog, but I haven't posted anything new, I begin to get a little stressed and feel like I have to output this new amazing post to keep everyone interested! haha SO this little ditty should keep you entertained while you wait for some great posts I have in store for you later this week :)

Yesterday my parents and I had breakfast-dinner at "Bob Evans"! :D
This came about because we decided upon making pancakes for dinner at lunch and when the rainy afternoon rolled around my mom and I were craving hot-cocoa with some fresh whipped cream that happened to appear in our fridge. My mom mentioned we should save the hot-cocoa for the pancakes and it'd be like Bob Evans. :)
Now, in my family, we have this awesome tradition that on the first snow of the winter we go out for breakfast at Bob Evans (I think this stemmed my love for snow and is the reason I'd be obsessed with the weather channel while I was on furlough.) So yesterday I declared to my dad that it was snowing(!) therefore, we were going to Bob Evans! (fyi- there was no snow to be seen...we did have a little bit of rain though, does that count?):)
I whipped up some pancakes, with all the toppin's to go on top. And my parents rolled in and we ate a mighty fine meal- complete with [not really]unlimited hot chocolate (with whipped cream of course)! Sadly there was no sausages or bacon, but I guess you can't have it all... It really was great though. We even spent an extended about of time discussing the difference between Bob Evans waiters, and Olive Garden hotties. AND I got a tip ;)
I bet at this point in time you think that we are all rather ridiculous and pathetic but, really people, give us a break- we're desperate. We're starting to go mental. This, this is what is keeping us sane until we can be back in the real, civilized world in 9 weeks! (It has been over 1 1/2 years since I've legitimately eaten out...)

Breaking News: I just witnessed my mom accidentally drink out of a bottle of soured skimmed milk, after just brushing her teeth. Sorry mom, that wasn't your water. :/ (p.s.-She hates PNG milk.)

Hope you all have a GREAT week! :) I'll catch ya a bit later.

One step at a time.

You know those memories you can remember so crystal clearly? You can just close your eyes and you're there? The images seem fresh, the air close and the colors bright? Your emotions feel real. You're in that moment once again.
It's not hard for me to go back to that moment when I was at my very weakest. Collapsed on a grassy part of the trail leading up the side of the mountain with Emma at my side. Strength drained from every limb of our body, feeling like we can't move another muscle. Having hiked for hours (stating at 2am) it felt too late to turn around- but the only way was up. How would we make it now? We had set out on an adventure- to the highest point in PNG. Mt. Wilhelm. The rest of the group was far ahead of us but we sat there weak and tired. I remember bowing my head and praying a simple prayer pleading with God for strength. I thought about how it's by His strength alone I can do this. My mind flashed back to the little "church service" we had that morning at base camp where we read the words found in Isaiah 40:29-31 "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength... It wasn't an instant zap of God's holy strength, but slowly I was filled again. With renewed determination Emma and I made our way to our wobbly feet and kept putting one foot in front of the other. It took complete determination, but we would NOT give in. We continually saw God give us the strength we needed step by step up those steep trails. It was hard though, as there were sections when we could only go 10 feet then would require a couple minutes to rest, yet our guide was soo ever patient with us. "Just around this corner" he would claim...well there was many corners, but it kept us going. I have to say- up to this point of my life, it was the hardest thing I've done...Yet, I saw some of the most breathtaking views on that trip, learned some life long lessons on the side of that mountain and completed one of the biggest accomplishments - I made it to the top. Once I saw that tower that marked the top- the adrenalin kicked in- majorly. I was practically race walking around the rocks and couldn't get there fast enough. My guide had to tell me to slow down so the couple others with us could keep up. Sitting at "the top of the world" was an amazing, surreal moment. The hike down was almost harder, my knees had taken a lot of strain and each step hurt. The steep decline was hard to navigate but step by step, I made it down until we finally reached the cars late that afternoon for the 6 hour drive home.
So why do I bring up this memory that is so clear in my mind? Because I feel like this can be so applicable to my life right now. These next 2 months are probably going to go on the list of "one of the hardest things I've ever done". How are you really suppose to say goodbye to a place you've called home for 15 years, knowing you'll probably never be back? How do you leave friends that have been practically sisters for years? How is easy to completely change your life in a radically different way? You can't, but I'm not doing this alone...God is by my side.
I really do have a point to this, I just always require a large amount of words to get anywhere ;) This transition is like climbing that mountain. There are times when it's so hard that I feel like I can't keep going or move a muscle. My strength is gone, but it's in that moment of weakness when God shows up in big ways and, like He promises, He'll give strength to the weary. And just like my guide, He's persistently encouraging, getting me around each bend I can't see. But with the struggles can come some of the most beautiful things. As we race against the clock and the pressure of things coming to a close builds, some of the most precious memories are born. And though the journey can be hard, and each step may bring pain as I work my way down the trail, it can't last forever. I must trust that there is an end to the trail if I do not give in to the fatigue that this earthly body or worldly soul has. And most of all I must remember that I can not do one moment of this journey by myself. I must lean souly on HIS strength. Just as God didn't fill us with all the strength we needed to let us zip all the way to the top, He gives us just enough strength to make it step by step. We must wait upon Him in hope, so we'll have renewed strength. I do have the anticipation of going to college in the fall and all the exciting things that brings. I'm looking forward to my future. I was so looking forward to being at the highest point in Papua New Guinea, it was just the journey that made it hard. But really?- would I have appreciated the view as much if I hadn't hiked for 6 hours? Sometimes in order to fully appreciate some of the greatest things in life, we must go through some of the most challenging times. Walking up the trail, you could only see small sections of the trail at a time, but once we were high up, or at the very top you could look back and see the whole thing winding up the side.-Going into the hardship we can only see a bit at a time, but once we're at "the top" we can see the big picture a bit better. We're stretched and strengthened and come out a completely enriched person, if we let ourselves not get caught up in just the hardship. And we need to take time to stop and take a look at the view. There is no doubt that I'm a stronger person from that trip up that mountain and I hope that I'll be stronger from journey I'm on now.
It won't always be easy, but we must just always take one step at a time.

The beautiful sunrise on the way up. A reminder that there is beauty in the middle of hardships.

Don't miss the view by being caught up in the challenge.
(btw- the tiny white speck on the left side of my head- near the top lake is the base camp where we came from. It was cool to see how far we had come...)

"I can do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me STRENGTH". At the very top! Awesome feeling of accomplishment. (it was about 14,700 ft and we could see the Madang coast line on one side, and the opposite coast line as well.) :)


It's amazing what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it and let God help you. You really are stronger then you think you are.

I went out for coffee...

You don't know how American I feel saying that :P

In the US it seems to be like second nature to go grab a cup of coffee, or meet a friend at the nearest Starbucks for a chat. Couples "go out for coffee" and you can almost find a coffee shop in every single town, if not corner. Well Ukarumpa is a different story. Yes, we make coffee at our house for a hang out- but it's totally not the same but tonight I went OUT for coffee! :)

The 11th graders put on a lovely coffee house so some of us girls got all "dressed up" and went out for a fun, relaxing night. If I squinted my eyes, blocked out the old building walls of the Meeting House and ignored the fact that I knew basically every single person in the room I could of almost thought I was in America! :P
After grabbing a mochachino and a double chocolate mint brownie I joined the girls at a table where we chatted and listened to some live music.

With Hannah B. I loved just relaxing with these girls.
It is one of those nights I'll cherish forever. I feel everything is more special and we embrace so much more when we know we are in a race against the clock.

Josiah's Starbucks apron helped set the mood too ;) Thanks 11th graders!

Yep, she's MY friend! ;) Love her!

Us girls with Adam after his performance. It was great hanging with him too- he is such a fun guy and added to the great night! Thanks Adam :)

Honestly love all these gorgeous girls so much.

And a great night was had by all! :)

Stand Still

lyrics by the Isaacs.
message by God.

Stand Still
Verse 1
The Father has a plan, though it’s hard to see it now
You feel you’re walking all alone, but He is there, no doubt
When the storm around you rages and you’re tossed to and fro
When you’re faced with life’s decisions, not sure which way to go

Chorus
Stand still and let God move
Standing still is hard to do
When you feel you have reached the end
He’ll make a way for you
Stand still and let God move

Verse 2
When the enemy surrounds you, and the walls are closing in
When the tide is swiftly rising and you wonder where He’s been?
Friend, there never was a moment that His arms weren’t reaching out
You can rest assured and be secure God is moving right now

Chorus
Stand still and let God move
Standing still is hard to do
When you feel you have reached the end
He’ll make a way for you
Stand still and let God move

Tag
The answer will come, but only in His time
Stand still and let God move
Stand still and let God move

Wanted to share this song with all of you!
Mary Kwimberi sang this song the other night at the Talent Show, dedicating it to us seniors. It was perfect. God has given her such a beautiful, sweet yet powerful voice that gets me moved every-time, and I just love these lyrics. I think it was a message that a lot of us needed to hear right about now. <3
Thanks Mary & Thank you God. :)

Don't hesitate.

Have you ever gone to an amusement park and you see this roller coaster that looks too scary to get on or too boring for your interest, so you just walk away from it and dismiss it from your mind? You spend the day having a great time riding all these other rides but the one roller coaster just keeps crawling into you thoughts. Once your fun day at the park gets close to coming to an end you finally decide to just try the roller coaster out- and come to find out, it's a BLAST. You just love it so much, but your day is almost over and the opportunities to ride it is few. Your heart drops as you realize you missed out on a whole days worth of fun being able to ride your new favorite ride because you were too scared, or uninterested in it.

Recently I've had similar experiences in my own life, but not with roller coasters. As my time here in PNG is coming so quickly to an end I'm trying to cram in all I can to make those "last memories"...but several times I do something and realize just how great it is. A piece of me is saddened because I realize what I've been missing out on for so long. Why didn't I discover this sooner?

Tonight after the Talent Show I went up to a friends house where a lot of my national girl friends where hanging out. They were frying up some kau-kau (a kind of sweet potato)fries. I've always liked these girls, but don't really get a chance, or make an effort to hang out with them. Tonight I just soaked in how much fun they are to be with. We had a blast teasing each other, doing the cha-cha slide together, eating chips, dancing to music and just enjoying each others company. As I took pictures next to their beautiful faces and sat on the couch watching them laugh, I was hit with a pang that I wish I would have gotten to do more with them this year. I don't have much time left with them. I missed out on a year of special friendships because it was "inconvenient" to be their friend.

Though I love the experience, adventure, people, etc. I almost feel sometimes like it's better to have not discovered this great thing because I wouldn't know what I was missing. (ridiculous thought, eh) "Better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all", right? ...MK's have to live by that saying a lot.

So I guess all this to say, don't be scared to jump right in, to get right on that roller coaster or to work hard at that friendship- you won't have forever and their can be a whole world of adventure, fun and love waiting out there for you. Milk it for all it's worth so you don't realize it when it's just about too late.

A picture taken with some of those lovely ladies at youth group the other day. Gonna miss these girls!