am I ready for this?

"A whole new adventure is out there waiting for you."
I heard those words once again tonight. And I know it's true, and it's not that I don't appreciate the optimism and encouragement, but at this point...they aren't the words I really want to hear.
I want to be here.
I'm not ready to move on and start that adventure yet. I don't want to go or give up this life I have here. And I bet God is up there looking down kind of shaking His head at me because I probably look like that pathetic little kid who is throwing a temper tantrum for not getting a lolli-pop when really, if they just wait 5 minutes- they'll get a full blown dinner. (I've used this analogy before...)
But then I ask myself...will I ever be ready? Like really, Leslie. You've lived here for 15 years. More of your life has been spent on PNG soil then in civilization. I don't think you should be ready to move on.
But that's the thing about life...we often gotta do what we don't want to. It's not always going to be easy, but that doesn't mean it still isn't what's best.

You know how when you're playing hide-and-go-seek the counter often says "ready or not, here I come!!!!"? I feel like that's how it is right now. I've run off to hide and whether I'm ready or not, it's coming. I don't have a choice, so I better either jump in and do my best given the opportunities rather then just standing there dumb, stunned by the fact that I wasn't ready.

So ready or not, here it comes. Hold on tight cause it's time for a whole new adventure just around the bend.