Great is thy Faithfullness

This past summer I spent my days working at a summer camp, and loved it! More than anything, the Lord worked inside me to grow, challenge me and reveal things to me. At camp, each counselor gets a camp name, and I was given the name Sunset.
Back in June 2012 I posted this about the last sunset I saw before leaving my home of Papua New Guinea:

"I seem to feel that God often shows his unfailing love to me through the beautiful sunsets he displays, and that last night was one of the brightest, most intense skies we had had in a while. I sat on my porch, thinking of the scenes I had just taken in, thinking of the chapter that was beautifully coming to a close. The last time I'd see the sun sink behind those mountains, yet God was practically screaming his love, comfort and faithfulness at me."

I love those words!
So during training week we shared testimonies, and as part of mine I shared this idea of how I felt like God used sunsets to grab my attention, and prove His faithfulness in my life. The first sunset that stood out to me came after a long day in high school where I was just over it all, upset with God and ready to call it quits on the day. I was mad and tired and I huffed home. But after dinner something out the window caught my eye, and the sun was spreading colors of pink across the clouds. My breath was taken away, and as I ran for a camera I could not help but smile. I felt like God slapped me in the face and said "Leslie! I still make beautiful things, and there is still so much hope, beauty and potential in today". From then on I tried to think about what God was trying to get my attention for when the sky lit up. I did not know it at the time of that post about my final sunset in PNG that that was just the beginning of sunsets for me. As we flew across the ocean, we were enveloped about one and the first night I moved into college a sunset settled about the chapel steeple, and with it fell a sense of peace that God was here in this place as well. After sharing my testimony at camp we all went out for ice-cream, and as we drove through the beautiful country with new family sitting next to me, the sky lit up. The decision to name me Sunset was easy, and I loved being able to use it as a testament to God and how He makes beautiful things beyond our reach and how He will never leave or forsake you.
Yesterday my friend invited me along to a church that she had to visit for a school assignment. I had a busy day planned out, but since she is graduating in two weeks I cleared my schedule for her. We walked inside this old church and found our seats. As my eyes scanned the walls I saw some tapestries hanging. Then my eyes fell on one that stole my attention. It had an image of a sunset reflecting off of a lake with the words sewn underneath

"Your faithfulness reaches to the skies"

It does not end there- sitting in a pew not too far from that banner with was my missionary friend Matt! Matt grew up two doors down from me in PNG and our moms are best friends, I've known him as long as I can remember. I knew he lived in this town near me but we never have time to get together. Plus, come to find out, he usually goes to the early service- but slept in yesterday so went to that one. What are the odds out of all the services and churches that I would run into him? It was a refreshing surprise and nice to touch base before running home to a crazy day.
And as I drove home from a quick trip to the store to buy birthday supplies and Christmas presents the sky had a pink halo...and I knew even though I anticipated a crazy 48 hours, the Lord was with me, and He is faithful.
Tomorrow I get to see my parents! I will be officially 500 days apart from my dad. It has not been an easy time apart and I miss them more than words can say. But I can say, the Lord is faithful, and He got us through.
I am so beyond blessed.
Great is thy faithfulness oh Lord!

Fall

When I was little winter was the season I missed most overseas because this little tropical island MK was mystified by snow. But as I grew older I fell in love with fall and it has been my favorite season for the past couple years. This year though, I feel like fall has been two steps ahead of me and that I'm just racing to keep up with it's beauty. It was in the middle of this thought a couple weeks ago, where I was busy and crazy and felt like I was missing all of it's beauty, that I took the time to stop and take it all in. And in that moment I had this thought that gave an entirely new beauty and meaning to this season.
I was in the park with a good friend hammocking and reading Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niquest (highly recommend this book!!) when I came upon the chapter called "Red Tree" which she talked about the season of her life where she was so overwhelmed with all that was going on that month that she didn't even notice the red tree that had changed colors across the street, until one particularly stressful day. And she goes on to talk about how in those crazy times there was so much beauty to be found. Yes it was easy to focus on all the details and planning of a relatives rehearsal dinner, but at that dinner she needed to stop and soak in the love of family, etc. This chapter was just what I was feeling! This semester is really busy, but within it hold the potential for some of the greatest moments. There are memories tucked within just waiting to be found. And through it all I am growing into something new.
And from that flowed these words onto my journal pages: 

Do you think it hurts the trees to have to lose their leaves each fall? That is must shed the very reason and things it lives for in a sweet surrender? Do you think each frail leaf tries their hardest to hold on, but must let go to take it's own final bow? Yet to us, fall is one of the most beautiful seasons, as the trees burst with color and fill the air with a beautiful display. It stands as a reminder as we crunch through the dead leaves that there is a rhythm to life, an order and truly a season for everything. Without shedding their leaves is new life possible. The old must go for the new to come. And all this makes me think of my life and how in this time of refining and discovery, surrender and putting things to death. I feel the tension and turmoil as I cling to keep all my leaves that cover my core but my coverings and life fall at the wayside. But I realize now that this is one of the most beautiful seasons of my life. Like a fire refines gold, I'm burning through my inner being. And in the end I might feel like a exposed, frail, empty, good for nothing tree, but truth is: I'm a blank canvas ready to be filled with new life, hope, joy and beauty. And that is why my 2nd favorite season is spring.

I'm back!...again.

I know it has been 9 months and more has happened than I can ever retell, so in a sense I feel guilty and odd not picking up where I left off, but I think as I unfold what is going on now, a lot of that will be tied in.
But honestly, the past 9 months have been so hard, yet so good but I really was not at a place in my life where I was able to open up and put myself out there in the middle of it all. I retreated as I went into my inner most being and wrestled with things in my life and my depths, was challenged daily and have grown so very much. Not to use the overdone metaphor but I feel like I have been in the state of a cocoon the past year, and slowly but surely I am breaking out. And I think that I am coming to the point that I am ready to come to the empty screen once again and put my heart out there again. I have found a new sense of confidence and am ready to share the things God has put on my heart.
I actually attempted to start another blog while I was absent, but it just was not working out and I realized (as weird as it sounds), that this is sort of my "first love". The place I first enjoyed writing and put my little high school thoughts out there and tried to contrive eloquent sentences. This blog holds memories and little pieces of gold within all the mumbo jumbo that in a strange sense, it's a little piece of me. My dear friend started a blog this weekend and I was reminded of the joy I found in it.
So here I am.
I updated my background because I needed something fresh and new, and being the intentional woman that I am I chose this one for more that just it's beauty factor. I could have gone with the MK typical map, or the symbolic footprints, but I think this background represents my life right now. It's messy and a little crazy and you can't totally make sense of it...but that is who I am- my life is messy and God works through that to form the beautiful. I'm full of memories and moments that all make up the complex being of who I am- like a kaleidoscope that God perfectly orchestrated. It's beautiful in its own way, that only the creature can fully see.
So here again are pieces of my heart, my thoughts, and my testamony of how God is making something beautiful out of a mess.