Fall

When I was little winter was the season I missed most overseas because this little tropical island MK was mystified by snow. But as I grew older I fell in love with fall and it has been my favorite season for the past couple years. This year though, I feel like fall has been two steps ahead of me and that I'm just racing to keep up with it's beauty. It was in the middle of this thought a couple weeks ago, where I was busy and crazy and felt like I was missing all of it's beauty, that I took the time to stop and take it all in. And in that moment I had this thought that gave an entirely new beauty and meaning to this season.
I was in the park with a good friend hammocking and reading Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niquest (highly recommend this book!!) when I came upon the chapter called "Red Tree" which she talked about the season of her life where she was so overwhelmed with all that was going on that month that she didn't even notice the red tree that had changed colors across the street, until one particularly stressful day. And she goes on to talk about how in those crazy times there was so much beauty to be found. Yes it was easy to focus on all the details and planning of a relatives rehearsal dinner, but at that dinner she needed to stop and soak in the love of family, etc. This chapter was just what I was feeling! This semester is really busy, but within it hold the potential for some of the greatest moments. There are memories tucked within just waiting to be found. And through it all I am growing into something new.
And from that flowed these words onto my journal pages: 

Do you think it hurts the trees to have to lose their leaves each fall? That is must shed the very reason and things it lives for in a sweet surrender? Do you think each frail leaf tries their hardest to hold on, but must let go to take it's own final bow? Yet to us, fall is one of the most beautiful seasons, as the trees burst with color and fill the air with a beautiful display. It stands as a reminder as we crunch through the dead leaves that there is a rhythm to life, an order and truly a season for everything. Without shedding their leaves is new life possible. The old must go for the new to come. And all this makes me think of my life and how in this time of refining and discovery, surrender and putting things to death. I feel the tension and turmoil as I cling to keep all my leaves that cover my core but my coverings and life fall at the wayside. But I realize now that this is one of the most beautiful seasons of my life. Like a fire refines gold, I'm burning through my inner being. And in the end I might feel like a exposed, frail, empty, good for nothing tree, but truth is: I'm a blank canvas ready to be filled with new life, hope, joy and beauty. And that is why my 2nd favorite season is spring.