catching my breath

It's easy at Christmas to get all caught up in the lights and the presents, the cookies and the movies, the friends and the family...in the crazy busyness of it all. Fortunately, living in PNG, there isn't as much commercialism as there is in other parts of the world, but never the less, I guiltily admit I expect Christmas to be more then just a celebration of Christ's birth. This afternoon, after all the thrill, the watching TV, playing games...I went to my room and starting busying myself and I suddenly felt overwhelmed and like...I couldn't even hear myself think! I had to just turn everything off (all my TV shows, facebook etc) and sit there for a moment and just catch my breath. Too much.
In my last blog I shared a lot about my Christmas morning- the presents and the memories...but there is a lot that I left out, the emotions.
(Now if you're tired of hearing me blab on, stop here...but I do promise to try to add more depth in this post :D )

This year I attempted to focus more on the birth of our Lord and Savior. In my Religious Studies class @ school we've talked quite a bit about the Incarnation so I combined all the things we learned there and the stories in the Bible of this holy occasion to reflect on what this day marks. The two things that have come to my mind the most this year is 1)how much Christ had to limit Himself to come on this earth with us, giving up SO many of His dimensions & 2)what would it be like to be in Mary's shoes. Would I/do I have the faith like her? etc.

Last night at the beautiful reflective candle light Christmas Eve service I was also reminded of all that Christ was for the us/the world and to, the purpose of Him coming (to ultimately die for our sins). Through out the season, God has laid various other things on my heart, exploring the roles of Joseph, how the little things mattered, the humble shepherds and the Magi...He has definitely used this bitter sweet Christmas to keep me alert of what He has to say. What did God teach you this Christmas? (leave in a comment :) )

There comes a key source of emotion. I sit here, worn out from a busy week and a very exciting day, but I'm not ready to go to bed because I can't bare the fact of saying goodbye to my last Christmas in PNG. I hate to have turned into the sappy girl who cries at every little event that is her last, but 6 months from today I'll be arriving in Cairns. Half a year...that's all I got. So as I start to mourn it, I realize- it's time to start making the most of it!

If you know me, you know I have a hard time living in the moment, and many times have a hard time being content. This afternoon (after all the excitement/emotional high wore off and I was worn out)I was just kind of bummed. All my friends and loved ones are doing something big this Christmas, going somewhere (like Cairns), seeing someone special, being all together with loved ones, ect. Now don't get me wrong- I had a great Christmas, and I LOVED being with my parents today but...
I miss my family in America, skype was a blessing, but just not enough. The jealousy bug has bitten and I wish I was on one of those planes taking me away from here. But I must be content in the moment. *sigh*

Now that Christmas is over I feel like "real life" must start again. Back to jogging, back to working, back to college apps, back to ______. And with that comes stress!! :) I'm trying to just relax and enjoy this break, but it's slowly ticking away and there is still lots to do! :/ Gotta get working.

There are so many other emotions compiled on top of these, but I will spare you the details ;)

Here's just a reminder of some of the things God is for us. A good reminder (for myself at least) after thinking through all these different emotions how God is SO big that he can help us with any need we have. How great is our God!?!, Our Lord & Savior, who was born into the world in the most humble of all ways.